When you don’t know the language of engagement

There was an era when Kenya was ah, famous as a sex-safari tourist destination. Some other countries in Far East and Caribbean shared the infamous distinction.

Ever heard of Wazungu (European) guys who landed in the country to “enjoy themselves” only to discover that despite their Playboy experiences, they were just virgins by African standard?

I will tell you about some…in a jiffy

The first lesson rural-to-urban migrants learn in Kenya is not to dwell in a room next to one occupied by a couple, separated by a thin cardboard or tin wall between them.

It is like attending a disorganized drumming contest concert with tower of babel poetry.

East African woo-men are ululators. Ululation usually accompanied by running around, jumping and waving wildly. When all this bottled up energy is rested on a 4×6 platform contained in a 10×10 feet room, it explodes a Hiroshima.

This was recognized by Human Resources Departments of yonder years to design and build separate Bachelors’ and Married quarters for company employees.

Back to the Muzungu who landed in East African country on as*** touring.

He seduced and got himself company of the local lady for the night. A few minutes into the night, the sound barrier was broken by the lady.

She was shouting: “ni-hao! ni-hao!”; the ululation reverberating in the corridor across the whole hotel floor, or so it seemed to the tourist.

The agitated Muzungu lowered his feet on the floor holding his head, elbows on the knees.

Worried, his local lady consort sat beside him and asked: “nini mbaya”? (what is the matter?).

He cried: what do you want? I am doing my best, yet you are saying “how, how”. So how do you want me to do it? They stared at each other, uncomprehending.

In the local dialect: “ni hao! ni-hao!” means: “Right there! Right there!”